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| okay, time for me to vent on what happpened yesterda. i would have written hear last night, but it was late and i was tired so i just took out my anger in a journal...
come to think of it, all my "anger problems" are just little things that set me off and i feel that rage and that huge passion for a short period of time.. meaning like.. 5-10 minutes and it dies down, but yesterday, i got mad at church, held it in, and took it out in the car, then got pissed at my brother and mother, and locked myself upstairs. my dad noticed that i wasn't in a good mood and tried to make me feel better.. then we watched 1박2일 which helped me calm down a bit (love that show! hilarious stuff!), but it got me thinking.
What really set me off was DENNY. omg. he. sometimes. drives. me. up. the. wall. He's always like making fun of me.. and dissing everything that has to do with me. I know he does it for a joke, but sometimes i can't stand it and he goes way too far.. He's never even BEEN to Plano, Texas and because of his stupid stereotypes he thinks it's the most boring place on the planet or something.. I mean he's 25!! Can't he be anymore mature than that?? The way he jokes around makes me think of boys my age.. who aren't mature. ME, trying to defend, well i guess you can say my pride! because i LOVE plano! I mean, it's basically my homeland, and to sit there taking in all that shit that Denny spits out at me, I just couldn't stand it, so I told him that he was boring because he lived here in Sonoma County for all his life.which.. if it were me, i would have been bored to death because living here for only 1 year, it's boring!! It's like the smallest place ever and we're like isolated from all the big cities like frisco, san jose, oakland, etc!! I'm not used to that!!1 Plano was pretty close to all the major towns like Dallas, McKinney, Frisco, Allen, etc. and it was decent living there because everything was so modern and urbanized!! We don't even have super wal-mart here! I mean wth, so theres a wal-mart and for groceries you have to go to safeway.. i mean what is that?!?! it's likea freakin country here and Denny, who's never even BEEN to plano is constantly putting it down. It's not funny anymore and he almost made me cry.. like i seriously just gave up and put my head on the table covering my head and he was like.. "that's right! just stay like that!" and it just pissed me off. he doesn't know when to stop!! at first i thought he was pretty cool, but.. idk anymore.
Well, i ignored him the whole time after that.. Oh right, and during bible study we were talking about "big mouths" and after everything our jundo said he would always be like -cough- grace!!! wth?!?!?! like one time monica jundo was like.. do you guys now anyone who think that they are the only ones that get hurt because of whawt other people say about them, but they hurt other people as well? (or something like that) and denny was like GRACE! cough cough meeeeeeeeeee
and my brother.. dude... he was worse too
i said that i thought it hurt most when ppl made fun of somebody else's looks and everybody was like yeah yeah! and my brother, when it was all quiet, was like.. what are you talking about grace? you do that all the time! and everybody.. omg.. it was horrible.... i freakin hate my brother... he gets pissed when i do that and makes me apolgize but HE doesnt like to apologize for what he did. it freakin pissed me off . i still havent heard an apology from him yet. yeah, so because of that we got in this huge fight in the car.. i couldn't control my anger so i ignored my family that whole night..
and yeah..
ahh i have more things to write about but i have to go watch a movie
laters.. i'll add more :P
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| long time no visit ;)
yeah, i stilll feel the same about my previous blog haha, but i'm learning not to stress about it too much. my life is my life and there must be a reason for everything, right God??
Well, right now i was "studying" for the Golden Bell thing at church tomorrow. I have to read 4 more chapters of Matthew and then I'm done.. i'll finish that tomorrow mornin or something x]
humm, todayy i went shopping with my mother today. it was good got a lot of stuff ^-^ including a pair of shoes that were originally 65 bucks and i got them for 10!!!! (this is why i LOVE kohls lol). eh
lets see, anythingi big in my life..? uhh just excited for this summer!! since a lot of ppl are comin here to visit :D which is always a good thing for me... lol
oh right yesterday was ji and christine's graduation!! woo. it was great.. ahem considering the fact that we got there kinda late and there were NO seats left and we had to STAND for like 2 hours in the COLD (monica and i wore tank tops we were freezing our BUTTS out there) and stupid insang nagging that there's no graduation party. even though there was, but he wasn't invited! (who would want a party pooper like him over at a grad party.. and it was n't even his graduation!), joon sang thinking he looked like won bin (YEAH RIGHT) and me saying if he looked like won bin then i looked like lee hyo ri or kim tae hee.. i shouldnt have said that cuz jay just looked at me like i was crazy or something. thats what i get for getting a ride with 3 very immature boys that likes to watch porn -_-.
i've been really like,, nervous lately.. i guess because of the swim team that i just joined? and idk why im nervous because the people there are pretty friendly... boys.. immature.. as always lol, but still pretty cool :]
wow, it's been a year since i left texas... happy first year grace!! :D
.. it's time to get settled in now :]
time to turn a fresh page and start life over :D woo! aja aja hwaiting!
and what ju yoo rin would say (my girl- lee da hae) BBASHYA!
(recently finished watching that drama. for the 2nd time lol!)
until next time!!
-Grace
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| ya know, when i was moving, i thought i would like still be really close friends with everybody and somebody told me that once you move, even your closest friends aren't really that close anymore. at first i was like. NO WAY. NO WAY WE'RE ALWAYS GONNA BE CLOSE AND IT'S ALWAYS GOING TO BE THE SAME. well, i was wrong it seems like.. all the close friends from school, don't even remember me anymore. of course, we still are friends, but it's not the same and that's what hurts the most. It's cuz i don't see them anymore, and we're all busy with highschool, so we don't even chat online. and the time difference makes it even more difficult to keep in contact. >.< although like my BEST FRIENDS are stilll like my BEST FRIENDS, it's not the same. I think I just realized that and that's what made me feel so down all the time. Looking at myself, and my life, it seems like.. all my friends.. well, i don't have a "best" friend. They're all really close friends. Of course, if i was in texas, i would have a lot of best friends. =/ it really hurts me to see that.... Especially to see that last year a LOT of my best friends were guys, but I lost all of them. I'm lucky to talk to them at all in a month. I need to hurry up and make some more close friends here. I feel so abandoned Anyways, on a happier note, school's almost over :]]] and summer's gonna be tightttttttt. so many friends are comin' ova here ;]. yeahyuh partay time! Hmm, what else. Well, today is NOT a happy day, it's a STRESSFUL day. ewwwww lol. well, I gotta go start on my 5 page essay :] and my projecttt! wooo! ttyls fools R.I.P. Kim Min Soo (김민수) from Monday Kiz | | |
| Huh. I'm starting to have weird um feelings? Idk, like a strange attraction to someone. You miss them when you don't see them and you anticipate the next time you will meet them, but once you do, it's not that great. I guess the presence is what's attracting? ahh! I don't know. Like I really look forward to the next time I'll see.. this person.. but when we do meet, it's just like a "hi" and walk off, yet it's strangely satisfying and when they leave, you anticipate the next time you'll see this person again. Idk how to explain it!! I just keep waiting until the next time i'm gonna see this person >.< it's somewhat embarrassing... | | |
| oh gosh. i apologize for my last weblog -_- kind of passionate. I guess i should have calmed down before i wrote that.
anyways..
i had a pretty good week this week. except i'm pretty mad at my friend loren and it's really hard to ignore him because he's really.. uh.. talkative, and doesn't give up -_-, but so far i'm doing a pretty good job ignoring him. haha. okay so yesterday was NOT my day. i arrived at a meet like 40 minutes late cuz 1. i thought the meet started at 5 when it actually started at 4 :30 AND 2. we got lost on the way. Okay, so after we got there, my coach, ecstatic to see me, told me to go warm-up. Well, the thing is i haven't been to practice in a week -_- so yeah he wasn't too happy about that. and well my first event was the 50 free, my relay team got scratched cuz i got there late -_-. and okay so right when i get on the blocks to put my goggles on.. guess what happens.. one of my goggle straps SNAP. great. so i dive in praying that my goggles don't fall off, but OF COURSE they not only fall off, the whole strap breaks, falling off my head. and let me tell you. i. can. not. swim. without. my. goggles. I feel like i'm trapped in the water, so i swam with my head out of the water half freestyle and half breaststroke. it was the most embarrassing thing in my life. that has NEVER ever EVER happened to me! >.< yeah, but that was basically my end of bad stuff i guess. cuz my assistant coach thinks i dropped three or four seconds off my 100 breast time. YAY!! :]
after the swim meet, i went to church (kinda late). i actually like church, sometimes. and we're having an activity week next week! it's gonna be fun ^ ^. and there's something i want to do, but idk if i'll succeed ;) haha jk but maybe i'll mention it later maybe. ahhh i wish there were more cute guys here >.<.
i started reading the twilight series which, let me tell you, are AMAZING. i love them so much. i finished twilight in like... what.. 3 days? and i finished new moon (the 2nd one) in 2 days and i'm currently halfway done with eclipse which i started yesterday! i can't stop reading them thats y i haven't been online that often. they're really good and i recommend it!! well, mostly for girls idk if guys will like it. :]
okay i'm gonna go practice violin now. and afterwards going to a junior miss scholarship for diana!!
yay!! :]]
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clueless
doubting confused euroblender
